I have noticed the older I get, especially around holidays, that I seem to have lost the feeling of excitement in life. You know, the excitement that you get as a child for Santa or the Easter Bunny. The excitement of your whole life ahead of you with endless possibilities, "the world is my oyster" kind of thing, or simply the excitement of an evening tub soak with bath fizzies and my favorite show. As the years have gone by, I feel like I have lost "me". A sickening feeling because with the dying out of my excitement, so goes the light that I used to harness in my heart.

When I was young, I was willing to put myself out there to freely grasp for what I wanted, but years worth of experiences in being hopeful and then being let down have lead me to try to avoid hope all together, causing me to lower my expectations in life and in those around me. I have found myself constantly trying to be more realistic with my expectations and goals to avoid failure and hurt. I have realized that my hope has begun to fade and I have become interested but not invested in life. 

Hope motivates us for greatness! It is not learned, but resides in all of us. If we allow it to take prescience it will position us for success. As I say these things, I feel excitement within but the second part is having faith in hope.

If I am to embrace this reality I will need to have faith in my hope and give up comfort and control, a huge fear of mine. Control is the one thing I fight so hard to maintain. Through my journey, I am learning how to use transparency to offset control.